Well, it’s safe to say I’ve dropped the ball. It was so committed to continuing this What’s Up Wednesday and completely got off track. Here’s why.
The New Schedule
I absolutely love my new job. I’m writing every single day and working with awesome people. Pretty much everything I need is at my fingertips. I am stress-free and fulfilling my writing urges. In addition to that, I’ve also changed around my hours. I’m working longer days most of the week to match my husband’s schedule and have more time with my family. These longer days have taken a little bit of getting used too. I’m not normally a morning person but have been working on it basically since my son was born. Ironically, he’s not really a morning person either.
This new rising schedule has made me feel more tired than usual when I get home. By the end of the night, I’m ready for bed by 9. Normally, I’m a night owl so this is a big change for me. I’ve just been so lackluster with continuing this series because I just didn’t have the energy. To be honest, I’ve been quite the slacker on working out as well, but that’s a whole other story. At least I’ve been continuing to make wise food decisions so there’s a win.
I’ve also stepped away from my personal social media as well. Generally, I love discovering new things on Instagram and posting all the time. So much so that I kind of abandoned my personal profile to focus solely on my blog profile. My purpose was to publically share my life as a disciple with as many people as possible. So, I joined some groups that I thought shared the same passions and were a good place to meet other women like me. Neither of those have seemed to work out.
This group was specifically created for bloggers of all ages and specialties to come together. When I first joined, it was a ton of fun. We did makeup nights. Had shopping adventures. We painted and snacked on Halloween treats. We even took over a couple of restaurants. It was amazing! I met so many women that I genuinely connected with and guess what; they were also Christian women trying to share the gospel. It felt like a win-win.
Then something changed. There started to be less and less events posted in our group to sign up for and then one day, there was nothing at all. I thought maybe the moderators had disbanded it to take a break. I know it can be stressful planning big events like these several times a month. Pretty much everyone in the group also had full-time jobs. So I wasn’t upset but thought I understood.
Then one day, I started seeing some of the friends I met in this group posting about similar events. I did some investigating thinking that I was missing posts and found nothing. The more I looked around, the more I saw these private invites. I reached out to another friend in the group who wasn’t featured and found out the truth. Unfortunately, this group had decided on using its favorite people and invited them to their exclusive events. I was so hurt. These ladies were no different than me. Maybe their follower count was slightly higher, but why does that matter. The point of the group was to bring like-minded women together to have a great time and share some cool things in town. It’s safe to say, this was no longer the case. So I left that group disappointed.
The next group I was involved in was online only. This group was only women who loved God. There were prayer groups and fun chats. Everyone even shared their quiet times every morning. It was a loving place to connect with other women. Once again, something changed. A new feature was added to invite people to this group. Something similar to a chain message built to beat Instagram’s algorithm. I thought it would be fun to help everyone get some more attention to their profiles. We shared each other’s photos and had an engagement train. After weeks of this feature, the group had drastically grown. And with it, came folks who were in it for the vanity.
This new feature now had specific rules that people had to follow. They weren’t crazy but they seriously limited creativity. Then one week, everything blew up. Threads of ladies complaining and tattling on each other flooded our chat. Instead of this feature being something fun and way to connect, it was getting really personal. People were following and unfollowing. Lists of people who were banned from the groups were being sent out. Lots of people were even getting direct messages because they broke rules. And then people started attacking each others comments. It was all too much. I didn’t join this group to be caught up in some catty follower obsession. I genuinely thought these women were here to spread Jesus.
So this is why I’ve been doing an unofficial social unplugging. It’s exhausting trying to keep up with everyone. Although some people do use their digital identities for good, it’s clouded by everyone in it for the numbers. That’s not the social media I want to be a part of.
I know all that was kind of heavy. So let’s end this update on a high note. I just got back from my first-ever women’s retreat. I drove up to Lake Arrowhead with a handful of women from my church and spent the weekend away. It was amazing. No one demanded my time. I could actually sit down and not be needed. What a change! I did miss my husband and son a ton though. I felt like I couldn’t stop talking about them. But I needed this break.
Anxiety plagues me at the most inconvenient times. God knew I needed to be here. During our lessons, we talked about many of the things I was going through. We talked about where those feelings come from and how God says to handle them. I left that room with the intention to take captive all my thoughts. (2 Corinthians 10:5) The mind, body, and soul all flow together and need to be in unison. The mind reveals what’s in the heart and the body acts upon that. And the thought always come before the feeling. So I’ve learned it is possible (with practice and prayer) to stop by anxiety in its tracks. And that is something I will be happy to keep updating everyone on.
That’s it for me! I know that was a long one, but thanks for reading. Until next time!