So, this post is a day late, but not short on content. My past weekend wasn’t too chaotic. I really felt the Holy Spirit moving and shaping my perspective.
The Greek term Metanoein (which Metanoia derives from) basically means to change one’s mind. The dictionary explains it this way.
change in one’s way of life resulting from penitence or spiritual conversion
Example: “what he demanded of people was metanoia, repentance, a complete change of heart”
This week’s Sunday service was led by our campus ministry. Campus is near and dear to my heart. I became a disciple in this same campus ministry and really turned my life around. It’s easy for me to get caught up in the busyness of everyday life. Work. Marriage. Parenthood. As I sat in that service seeing familiar and news faces, I couldn’t help but remember college life. Before becoming a disciple, I was on a path to destruction that I called “finding myself.” I was selfish, unhappy and trying to be what everyone wanted me to be. By the end of it, I literally had no plan for my future and hit rock bottom. That’s when this ministry helped change my vision.
They group showed me friendship and that Jesus is the only way. My life quickly went from shambles to a brand-new construction site. I studied the bible and began to transform into who God wanted me to be all along. Because of the sacrifice and boldness of these disciples, I have this amazing life. Because of Jesus, this family never gave up on me. Sure, I had plenty of uncomfortable conversation. But I needed those. The bible says to spur each other on (Hebrews 10:24). And I am a better disciple because of those.
During the service, a couple campus ladies shared their testimonies. It took me right back to where I started. I remember feeling exactly like they did. I remember feeling like something was missing, but not knowing what it is. I couldn’t help but feel emotional and so abundantly grateful for God’s grace. There’s no way I would have a great marriage, loving family or even be a mom without him. This is where my Metanoia kicked in.
Lately, I’ve been looking at everything pessimistically. I’m waiting for the atom bomb to drop on every situation. But I’d forgotten what a mess I had made without Jesus and how he picked me up and saved me. This service and crazy for Christ campus students helped turn up the heat in my internal fire. I’m starting to feel less anxious about what the next year or even two years will look like. God is opening many doors and showing me some of the path he is laying before me. Honestly, he’s probably been doing this for a while, but I’ve been so wrapped up in my own feelings.
Wherever you are and whatever you’re feeling, just know that God is right there with you. Nothing you can do can stop him from loving you. There is not distance too far that he cannot reach. He will never give up on your no matter how many mistakes you make.